Fall time 2013

Wow!  I feel like this year has gone by in a blur.  It has been so busy.  I have been booked with jobs every day this month (which I feel soooo blessed for considering we really need some Christmas Cash!)  It's been so fun to see my business blossom, it's been so many years in the making, so many ups and downs, feeling like a failure, feeling not good enough, fighting my own demons with my self esteem...It's nice to feel the cloud lift some days and feel like maybe I'm finally getting it.  I still have a long way to go and I still spend WAY to much time comparing my talents to everyone else's.  I need to just find that place where I'm happy and content with ME.  And maybe my weight has a little something to do with that...poo.  I hate feeling not like myself because I'm carrying around this weight that makes me see someone else in the mirror.  I really struggle dropping it, because I spend so much time at the computer editing, and by the end of the day I'm too tired to exercise, and I don't have the discipline I need to cut out the yummy food.  Oh the lessons life teaches me.  I have way too much editing to do this month and am a little behind and stressed but wanted to take a minute to update where we are in life.

Aspen is doing really well in school, she is loving her teacher this year which is so nice to hear, because last year she complained that she didn't feel like her teacher loved her.  That was hard to hear.  She is a huge helper with Audri.  She loves to play with her and make her laugh, and Audri loves her back.  Aspen is very sensitive by nature, and I really struggle with it, I hate all the whining and don't always know how to handle her with kind words.  I'm really working on this, but I feel like a bad mom most the time with her.  I need to find how to work with her and her emotions.  I thought I could wait till the teen years, but the emotions have come early.  Any one else with an emotional child?  What do YOU do with yours to get the whining to stop?  Other then that, she really is a great girl, very kind hearted.  She is such an amazing artist and draws me pictures for my desk all the time and I'm always amazed at what she can draw.  She likes boys more then I would like her to at this age :)

Audri wants to walk so bad!   She is 9 mths now. She pulls herself up to everything and walks along furniture, she also will stand on her own for a few minutes.  She crawls everywhere and gets into everything. The other day I changed her poopy diaper and it was glittering...sure enough she had swallowed one of her sisters small jewelry pieces and luckily did not choke on it, I'm glad it passed through.  So weird.  So gross.  I also found her with plastic in her mouth the other day.  It's amazing she is still alive.  I promise I keep my eyes on her, but she is so fast!  She lights up whenever her dad gets home from work.  She loves him so much and will smile and crawl to him.  She loves to attack his hair and will giggle and giggle while she is pulling it.  She is such a joy!!  I never imagined she could fill my heart so much!  We were happy with just Aspen, and Aspen has been such a blessing in our lives, so I couldn't imagine that Audri could fill it so much too!  It's amazing to me how love expands.  I can't imagine us without her!  I would however love if she would learn to sleep through the night.  I'm quite tired.

I started out the semester going to school, but only made it one week into classes because I have been so busy.  Finally dropped one, and the other my professor is letting me work on from home.  Maybe some day I will graduate.  SO sick of going to school.

Loving the fall months and the gorgeous colors.  And so glad it's not toooo cold yet...