July sucked. Like super sucked. I am SO glad it is over. Ashton was gone to army all month, the kids had gotten some immunizations at the end of June, and my super healthy rarely get a cold baby Audri ended up being sick the whole month of July - like so sick to the point of having to be put on a nebulizer to breathe better. I'm sure her body was just regulating the stupid immunizations or whatever, but whatever it was just sucked. And I was having bad contractions. And no husband. And I was depressed. So many melt downs - which is so unlike me. One night after I'd been at the emergency room with Audri till 5 in the morning because she wasn't breathing well, and she wouldn't let me put her down, and she had a fever, and she had aspirated some water, the bishop and his wife stopped in to bring me cookies and say hello, and they walked in the door and I just broke down crying. They didn't know anything that had been going on. My house was a mess, I was in pajamas, Audri had been crying for hours. They came in, took Audri away with them for two hours so I could have a little time to get some work done and breathe. It helped so much. And then for the next two weeks, bless people in my ward - food just started showing up everyday. I am usually too proud to accept the help, but boy was I thankful for it, since I didn't have anything left in me. Oh July, I never want a month like you again.
August has been better. I think Audri has allergies or asthma or both. Some days now she is fine and then she will have a few days of coughing and runny nose, then be fine the next day. Her doctor we have had since she was born (and Aspens) I have decided to never return to. He pissed me off. In a bad way. He was so rude to me when I took Audri in and told him I wanted her tested for Asthma or allergies and what did I need to do - he wouldn't even talk about it - all he wanted to talk about was how she was losing a lot of weight, and what am I feeding her, and am I making sure she is eating, his tone was so rude, and when I said she eats when she isn't sick like she's been, all he said was "well the physical tests show otherwise" he wouldn't even discuss with me that duh! she's been sick! and thats why I'm here bringing her to you!! Oh boy was I upset with him. I walked out of there and found another Dr. Tomorrow the new Dr. is doing testing on her to see what is going on, thank goodness someone is willing to listen to me. Because my super happy sweet girl hasn't been as super happy and sweet because she isn't feeling well. Hopefully we get some answers.
The new baby moves a lot now. She rolls and kicks and it's so fun. I'm kind of sad this is my last time to feel this. I wish I could bottle it up :) Other then the sickness and pains here and there, (and the weight gain) I enjoy being pregnant :) Next week they will give me a shot to develop her lungs quicker in case she comes early like the other two.
Aspen started 3rd grade and is loving it. She is such a social girl, she thrives on school and friends. And she likes school work - so glad she isn't like I was :) She is a smart sassy girl...we are working on the sassy part - before she drives her mom insane.
Ashton has been busy working, and he bought a little fixer up sail boat he's been working on every spare minute he gets. It's good for him to have something to work on. He took me out on it for the first time last weekend and it was a lot of fun - peaceful and nice to be out on the water.
I've been going through ups and downs a lot lately...I imagine it's pregnancy hormones. And I need to work on my self esteem :) oh the constant battle. I get lonely sometimes. I'm not a huge friend person because honestly I have so many insecurities about myself and struggle feeling comfortable getting to know people, and all my friends live away now since Michelle moved, so I don't talk to many people. I have a friend who has started walking with me 2 times a week and that keeps me sane. It's nice to have an adult to talk to. Maybe I'm just freaking out about having a toddler and baby...and I'm tired. so tired all the time. And I have pregnancy brain.
Well that's about it going on with us right now, hopefully life gets a little more exciting and fun around here soon...or less and I get some sleep - that would be alright too.
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