Oh so much!

And I always wait to put it all into one long long post that probably no one wants to read!  I will try to break it down a little and try to keep, it slightly entertaining.  A LOT has been going on.


Quitting the Dream job:
Hard. So Hard. It was one of the toughest decisions I have made in a very long time.  I love my job so much, as far as getting a job in my industry I'm going to school for, it was a dream.  I knew going into Photography as a major that it would be very difficult to find a job in the industry, because it is so crowded...there are sooo many photographers, and those who get a job in the industry rarely leave it.
So this is the story.  I was sitting at work in a meeting and I had the words come to my head "time to put in your two weeks notice" and I thought oh heck no, I won't find a job like this again where I have an automatic in in the commercial industry.  But the thought wouldn't leave me.  It was the wrong time (Ashton wasn't working because he was finishing his last semester of college) I hate when someone replaces me, and I like my job.  I mentioned it to Ashton and he had the same reaction I did.  NO WAY.  So I ignored it.  The next week at our weekly work meeting, the thought came to me again.  Ugh.  And it wouldn't leave, all week.  I was upset, emotional, I felt crazy, confused.  I talked to Ashton about it again, and all the sudden it was just right, I knew it was time.  And I hated it.  I put in my two weeks notice the next week.  I was emotional, and still have been emotional, for about a month now.  It's been very hard for me, especially when they started bringing people in to interview for my job.  My boss asked me to stay until they have replaced me and they are sure the next person is doing as good of a job.  (As if! :0)) It was nice to hear all the compliments from people once I quit about wanting me to stay on and saying how good I am at my job.  Anyway, so now I'm jobless, but I am freelancing, Icon still has me doing some jobs. IHC has me shooting photos for them, and I'm hoping to pick up a lot more jobs.  Sdesigns Photography and I have teamed up to do some photography together, so that will be fun, I might actually get a chance to have fun again instead of always stressing everything is done right and carrying everything on my shoulders.  I loved Icon, but I always stressed that I would mess something up or forget something.  And I'm hoping this gives me the chance to actually be a mom.  I feel like I have missed being a mom, and so far she's the only one I have been given, and may be the only one I get.  Dang I'm mad I missed those years!!  Can't ever get them back.  I don't know what's going to happen now, but we will see...neither Ashton or I have a job right now...this is us living on faith.  It's a lot scary!

Painting the dream:
Ashton and I spent the weekend fixing up our house.  We have been in it a little over a year, and haven't had a kitchen floor, or finished painting, or fixed all the little broken things we haven't had time for.  So we got down to business, Ashton put a kitchen floor in while I painted, and painting, AND PAINTED.  I feel like I have done a million squats.  But it feels sooo good!!!  The kitchen floor looks amazing, the walls are painted, and I finally am feeling like our house is coming together.  I never feel at peace or rested when things are half done.  It's hard for me to sit in a room that isn't done.  Aspen helped me (photos to come) she painted her bed.  She wanted to be involved so much, I felt bad when I couldn't have her help me with every little part because she would start dripping on the floor.  But it was fun to do things together as a family.  It felt great!  And now I won't be so embarrassed to have visitors come to my home!  now I just need to get photos on the wall, do a little decorating...

Waiting for the dream:
And now we wait...just waiting to see what the future is going to bring.  Waiting to see where Ashton gets a job, waiting to see what I will be doing, waiting to see if we ever have another little baby.  I feel like we just have so much waiting going on right now.  But I guess we are in a good place.  God must have a plan, because I did what he asked, and I feel at peace.  Emotional, crazy, but I still have a little peace going on, and I'm okay with that.