the years fly by...

Bugger, only one more year in my twenties.  When you are young you think you will never get old.  It's a strange thing to age.  I feel the same, other than I am tired more often, sleep less, the skin around my eyes are starting to sag, lines are appearing on my forehead, I can't keep the weight off like I use to. Ok. Did I say I feel the same?  I lied.  I do however SEE myself in my mind the same.  I think of myself and picture myself in my mind still at 20, and then I'm shocked when I look in the mirror.  I wonder where the girl staring back at me came from.  I wouldn't go back though.  My young years were tough.  I've learned a lot, and I feel and see things so differently now than I did then.  But I do miss looking that young and being that skinny!  haha.

If any of you have ever seen the one woman play Polly, or heard the songs, there is one song that I have had near to me the last couple weeks.  It's called "At the campfire" and the lyrics:


Look in the mirror,
See what its showing.
But don't be discouraged, my dear;
Your forehead's still growing!
Stay with me now
My old companion
And watch while the lights flicker out
Over the canyon.

(Spoken)

Everywhere you've been there are walls, houses, permanent things to show you 
were there. So the children can say, "My father built this, and still it 
stands. "

And hard as I labor, what will they have from me? Oh, Mother could cook and 
sew and make candles that burned for hours, Mother was neat as a pin, Mother 
could milk and churn, and make soap from only fat and lye. Stories, that's 
what. When the milk and butter are gone and the soap's used up, candles 
burned . . . stories. Stories.

Sometimes I feel that way, what will others have from me, or remember about me?  Time is going much faster than I ever thought it would.  I'm always saying "When I have more money, when I have more time..." but I'm afraid the years will pass me by and I will have nothing to show for it because I keep waiting for "when"  I hope I leave some kind of legacy behind.  I hope I can start building it now, so I actually have something to show for it.  Because if I keep waiting for the right time, I may never get there.

Birthday's aren't as much fun as you are aging.  When you are young everyone acknowledges it, there are parties for it, gifts.  I just worked today, and nothing special happened.  But that's how it is.   In 

fact, my mom said to me yesterday, well we will celebrate your birthday on Saturday with Shiloh since it's his birthday that day and we will all be together.  It's mostly for Shiloh, but we will celebrate you too.  Hahaha!  She of course didn't mean it the way it came out of her mouth I'm sure...you'd have to know my mom. Good thing I can laugh about it. Having a moment of silence to just write in my blog seems to be just about as good a gift as any.  funny how our wants and priorities change as we age. 

On another note, I start shooting Nutcracker tomorrow, so I'm excited for that, it will be a busy week!

Happy Thanksgiving all!