updates for December

My cousin just lost her husband to a heart attack at 44 years of age 2 days ago.  It's been really sad.  They have 3 boys.  I can't believe how quickly life happens to us!

I've been feeling baby kick and roll a LOT.  I can feel a knee here, a hand there, a heel in my ribs.  It's fun to poke and feel around and feel the different little bones.  Sometimes it hurts, I don't like when she kicks my ribs.  The Dr. finally said my pain is because she has had her foot up in the rib irritating the nerves and my rib on that side is inflamed.  She said there is nothing to do about it but push the baby down out of my ribs and wait till I have her.  haha!  She also said she doubts I will make it to February 21st.  Most likely she will come a little earlier.  We will see. :0)  I don't mind her coming on her due date though, that's my mom's birthday.  I have enjoyed being pregnant for the MOST part.  there are def parts I don't like.  But mostly I've enjoyed it, I don't like when she gets the hiccups and keeps hitting the same place in my tummy over and over, I start getting annoyed with it.

Aspen is so excited for Christmas, I have tried and tried to do an advent activity with her each day, but gosh darn I'm soooo tired!  I took 2 naps yesterday.  I can't seem to get any energy and I feel a little down.  Probably a combination of the pregnancy and stress about not having a job and steady income.  Around Christmas time it makes it kinda depressing to not have money to spend on others.  I love giving gifts, and it's made it hard on me not to really be able to get anything for others this year.  This too shall pass I keep telling myself.

We sold our truck finally, so we are down to one vehicle until Ashton gets a job.  We sold his pontoon, we sold a gun, we sold the dog...Ashton said he thinks we are about out of things we can sell.

I've depended on my photo shoot money quite a bit.  I have been blessed to have them still trickling in, though it is slowing down now that most have their Christmas photos done.  Hopefully it picks up in the spring...after I have baby.

Bless Ashtons heart, he still goes into LDS unemployment services everyday for a couple hours job searching, then goes and works for his dads wood shop at night, usually working until 1 or 2 in the morning, then back up at 7 to head over to LDS services.  I know it's wearing him out.  His body is taking a beating.  He is so tired, but he is working so hard for us.  I pray some doors will open for us soon.  I know it's good to have some struggles.  I just hope they start lifting soon.

Christmas is coming sooo quick.  I had all these plans this year that I was going to get done, and I haven't had the energy for any of it.  I've been struggling with feeling down because I really wanted Christmas to feel special, and instead I feel like I've hardly had the time to enjoy the Holiday.  I'm glad I start Christmas music right after Halloween, otherwise I'd really feel like I missed it all.

Did I mention I have really awful pregnancy brain now?  I feel like I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.  So if any of this post doesn't make sense...you know why

And here's Aspen doing what she loves most, posing for my lighting check before my photo shoot!  My best childhood friend in the world (Charlotte)  made me that cute "hat" she is wearing, she wanted to see how it fit.  It's really not a hat, but that's what she thought.