We are still job hunting. It gets harder and harder each time I see the bank account and see how little I have in my acct. I lived on 2 dollars this week. And a little extra love money from my mother who is a gem and paid me to do some little jobs for her. bless her heart! I love her!
It gets discouraging at times, but I'm trying to stay upbeat. Ashton goes to LDS employment services from 8am to 4pm everyday job searching and taking their classes, then goes to work from 5 to 1am so we can pay at least some of the bills. It breaks my heart but I'm so thankful for how hard he is willing to work for us. I hate not having him home, but I know he is busting his butt for us. Everyone keeps saying something will come, something's gotta give...and I keep trying not to be a downer about it and say yeah right! I'm trying to stay positive. I'm sure something will come. I don't think struggles are bad, I think they help us grow and have purpose, but I'm starting to feel overloaded with the growth going on haha!
The Lord does bless us though, Everytime I think we won't be able to pay a bill, I get a photo shoot, and that helps a little. I know the Lord is looking out for us and knows what's best. Some moments I just forget for a minute :0) Like when I see the price of diapers in the store, or think of trying to dress this baby, or the carseat we don't even own. But we did get a crib from a couple that was moving and left it with some friends of ours, so at least the baby will have a bed to sleep in.
I really wanted to do school next semester so I could graduate, but in talking to Ashton about the realities of taking a full load of classes and having a baby one month into the semester...we decided I was insane and needed to take a step back. So my journey to graduating is put on hold yet again. I feel like it's never going to happen and I'm sooo close! this gets me frustrated, but at the same time, I want to enjoy this baby and not feel burdened. Who knows when we will get another one. I didn't cherish my moments with Aspen enough when she was a baby. I was thinking about that today and why I missed so much of her growing up, we didn't take her many places with us when she was young and went on lots of dates without her - letting her stay with Grandma, and I was working and doing school. But then I reminded myself that it's ok, Ashton and I needed time to get to know each other when he got back from Iraq and Aspen knows we love her. The girl is spoiled spoiled! But she is so sweet too. She got off the bus for a play day at a friends house for the first time the other day (I'm a little controlling and usually like her having play days at my house where I know where she is and what she is doing...I have separating anxiety issues. haha!) no but really I am just protective. I like to have her where I can see her. but I let her go to her friends and the dad said she was the most polite little girl they have had over. I'm sooo glad! I really work hard to make sure she is kind at other people's houses. Sometimes she can be a stinker, but for the most part she is as sweet as can be.
My mom and I went to the Temple and did some sealings today, it was a nice break from the world. I don't get there enough. I really need to make it a priority in my life. I know I need the peace it brings me.
That's about it for an update. Just trying to get ready for Christmas and get everything done that I dream of every year and never do. :0)
10 weeks to go till baby Audrianna is here!
3 comments:
Your family is so cute and I so excited for this new little one!
I can't believe it is only ten weeks away! What a cute name. Love it. I can just see her all decked out in pearls and dignity. :)
Will pray for Ashton to find a job soon. Love you.
Yeah for Pictures! You have a beautiful family. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.
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