Being a stay at home mom

It's a hard job.  much harder then working.  Work was physically draining, this is emotionally draining. Someday's I wonder how I'm going to do it.  My brain gets exhausted answering all the why questions, cleaning up a million times after the same mess, saying no to T.V. all day, reading a million books, not much me time.  It's just plain tiring.  My patience wears thin and I don't feel like I am a good mother.  I feel like I spend more time yelling then loving some days, and more time saying not right now then yes.      It's a mentally challenging job.  Sometimes I wish I was back at work. Not to mention I HATE not having my own money to spend, or having any money at all for that matter and having to stress about what I do spend and how to pay the bills month to month.  This is just quite an adjustment for me.  I've never been a stay at home mom not making a decent pay check each month.  I definitely miss my money.

BUT...

today Aspen told me she likes that I am a stay at home mom.  That made it all worth it.  I guess even with all my yelling and running out of patience, she still loves me and wants me around.  I know it won't be like that when she is a teen, so I need to take advantage of the time I have with her now.  It's been fun to see her in a different way then I have in a long time.  Well ever really.  I never got to just be home and do mom things.  Somedays don't feel so fulfilling, but when my little girl tells me she likes me home, that makes me smile.

So I guess it's worth it.

Look for my wedding photo post coming up soon, I shot a wedding last week, and it was so much fun, the photos came out great!  I hired Bethany Reed of Bethany Reed photography to come second shoot and she did an awesome job.  I'm working on picking up all the freelance photo jobs I can, so hopefully more will be coming my way.  I have another wedding next month, and a barmitsvah the next month. And I still have my IHC job, so hopefully I can stay afloat.  The problem with freelancing is the pay can take up to 90 days to get to you...it's a trying time waiting.

We are still waiting on a job for Ashton.  I feel like he has put in resumes everywhere, but of course everywhere wants you to have experience, and it's hard to get experience if no one will hire you.  Guess we keep praying.