Today

Sometimes life gets you down.  Sometimes it lifts you up.  This week it's the first for me.  It's been one of those weeks.  I should have expected it.  Every year abt this week of this month every year, I have a hard week, an emotional week.  Then I remember it's the week my daddy died.  And then it all makes sense.  I suppose it's my souls way of allowing me to grieve since I allow it so rarely.

I thought when Ashton graduated things would get better, and we'd get a job.  It sucks when you spend so much time going to school just to have such a difficult time finding a job.

Ashton's truck broke down this week and it wasn't cheap.  And scraping together money to pay all the bills at the end of the month is hard enough without adding more problems to the pit.

Anyway, it's not all bad.  Baby is moving more, that's been nice.  My photography has been going pretty good, but it's slowing down since it's starting to get colder out and people aren't so excited about out door shots.  But my mom is helping me invest in some REAL studio lights and they should be here this next week, so that will be nice!  I'm not excited to owe her money, but I'm excited to expand my options and turn part of my house into a studio.  Much to Ashton's dismay poor guy...I have so many projects for him to do for me.  Good thing he loves me most of the time :0)

Sometimes I get really lonely.  I'm not a social person by nature, which anyone who reads my blog knows about me.  It's hard for me to make close friendships. I don't usually have anyone to talk to or vent to...even if I did have someone to, I probably wouldn't because I'd feel like I was taking up their time needlessly.  But some days I really could use a friend.  I have a friend here, Michelle, but she has 3 boys and usually seems so busy, and she is so good at being social she never has a shortage of friends so she usually has something going on.  Good thing for facebook and blogging I suppose, it at least provides one outlet.  And I really can't blame anyone but myself anyway.  I usually keep myself so busy I don't take the time to make and keep close friends.

I feel like I've spent too much time whining on here today.  Guess it's just one of those days.  I'll be more uplifting next post.

P.S.  isn't my dad just so handsome?  I really really miss him.  I miss the solid rock he was.