Aspen is going to go with my sister ShaMayne to Elkridge for
a week so we can concentrate on Baby Audri and I won’t have to feel guilty that
I can’ t be there with Aspen too.
Too much emotions to deal with already. I miss my Aspen girl and it’s hard enough being away from
her for so long, but if I know she is away having fun with cousins, it helps me
feel better. And ShaMayne is so
amazing, she will be in great hands.
I did skin to skin with Audri again today and she kept looking up at
me. It’s the most I’ve seen her
open her eyes. She would look over
at Ashton too. She was more alert
and she is just so sweet. She has
this amazing spirit to be around, it is so calming. Everytime I hold her I just want time to stand still for a
little while, because I know this time will go quickly. She will grow so fast. I’m trying to breathe in every bit of
this time that I can. I didn’t do
enough of that with Aspen.
I should be discharged today, and I will just move to
another room to do Hospital stay for 15 dollars a night for the next week since I can’t drive
back and forth because of the c-section.
Ashton has to start back to work.
I’m glad I had her over the weekend so that he could be here with me. It’s made such a difference to have him
here. He makes me feel so much
more calm, and I love seeing how much he cares and loves that little girl. He is such a natural with her. And she is so calm when she’s with
him. They are going to be great
buddies.
1-22-13
I miss my Aspen!
And our routines together at home.
And being home with Ashton.
I know I am where I am supposed to be, but it gets harder and harder
everyday. And they don’t allow
visitors other than the 6 on our list into the NICU, so I get really
lonely. I’m super homesick and I
really miss my little Aspen hugs and doing prayers and scriptures with her.
Baby is up 4 ounces today and taking a bottle a little
better. This is great news! She is still on oxygen, but she opens
her eyes a little more lately. I
have grown to love her so much.
She is so precious and has such a peaceful spirit about her. I really feel my dad’s presence around
her. I miss him so much too. As you can tell, I’m a little emotional
tonight. Having a hard time with
things, but trying to stay strong.
I feel better other than a headache, and a little pain in my incision
area. And I still feel
swollen. I’m ready for the weight
to be gone and feel normal and cute again. I put on some makeup today. My mom took me home to pack and I showered at my house and
shaved! Oh it felt so good to get
cleaned up and feel a little normal for a moment, and to be outside the
hospital for a little bit. It was
hard being away from Audrianna that long though.
I talked to Aspen on the phone today and told her about
Audri eating her milk through a tube in her nose, and Aspen laughed and laughed. She thought that was so funny. She asks about Audri every time I talk
to her and asks what needs done so she can come home. I know she is anxious to meet her little sister and she said
she really misses home. I know how
she feels poor thing. I love that
little one so much!
1-22-13
midnight (TMI post by the way)
I did a feeding with Audri at 10pm and we usually do
feedings skin to skin so she can get use to the smell and feel of me when she
is eating…she just eats through the tube in her nose, but the nurses said it
helps with association. We have
done this for a couple days now, but she’s never shown any interest in my
breasts to eat. Well tonight she
surprised me and the nurse by waking up and starting to fuss around my breast,
and then without warning she just latched on all by herself. It’s the most active she has ever been
and she’s never shown any interest in eating up to this moment, so I was in
awe! I can’t even describe how I
felt to see that she was improving in this small way. She only gave a few sucks then she lost interest and just
wanted to be fed through the tube and held, but it still was such a huge
moment! We weren’t planning to try
to get her interested and work on her with it until a couple more days, because
they didn’t want to stress her, so for her to do it on her own was huge! It really made my night! I thank my Father in Heaven for the
little gifts he gives to me. I’m
thankful for these little moments.
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